Written 11-10-18: Over the last several weeks I have gone through a major transition in my relationship with my grandma. 3 weeks ago I planned a ceremony with my mom and my grandma. As I started to sing “Ave Maria” my grandma said “Stop”. Then I felt we could have continued but my mother made me stop. Later in our visit I tried to sing some of the songs in my head to my grandma but I did not feel prepared.
The next week I prepared a Healing Ceremony (see below) and practiced it at home. Then I visited my grandma and held her hand. I sang the songs in my head to her. By the second Healing Song (I am Healed, Whole and Healthy) I felt I was taken to a near death awareness with her. In this awareness I was singing and dancing with her. She was so excited to be talking with someone. She was happy and sad. I held her in the awareness and felt strong yet I was balling on the outside. I felt truly healed through this experience. At one point towards the end of the ceremony my grandma said to me out loud “You’re crazy.” I responded, “If I’m crazy so are you because we just experienced that together.”
About a week later my dad called me to tell me grandma was very sick. Her heart rate was up and she was having a hard time breathing. I went to visit her and was able to hold her hand again and feel the near death awareness. I reminded her to return again (see below).
When she died I felt more upset about losing this near death awareness with her. I felt when she transitioned she was no longer my grandma. She was one with the cosmos and no longer separate so I could no longer talk to her like in the near death awareness. She is still in my heart but the communication is different.
I still don’t know how I feel. I cried so much before she died yet I have had a hard time crying since she died. I know she is in a different place but I don’t believe it is better, just different.
Written 6-10-20: This experience changed my life. I realized how easy it is to communicate with those who have passed if we only listen and trust our intuition. Below are two ceremonies I put together for my grandma. The one mentioned above is the Healing Ceremony. I never sang the songs to her for her Transition Ceremony but I hope to one day sing these songs at my mother’s or in celebration of someone else’s transition.
Grandma’s Healing Ceremony
- Opening Song: Ave Maria
- 1. Ave Maria 2. Ave, Ave Repeat 1-2.
- 3. Ave Maria 4. Gratia plena Repeat 3-4.
- Opening Prayer: Hail Mary
- Inviting the Directions
- Statement of Intent: Astrology of the Day–Full Moon
- Healing Work
- Healing Song x3
- By Kenna del Sol
- I Am Healed, Whole And Healthy x3
- By Karen Drucker ©Tay Toones Music BMI
- See You Beautiful x2
- By Red and Kathy Grammar; Red Note Records
- Closing Song: By Breath
- By Sara Thomsen, adapted by Sally Strosahl
Grandma’s Transition Ceremony
- Opening Song: You Are My Sister x3
- By Sufi Dances for International Peace
- Belly Button Song x9
- By Connie Kaldor and Tom Pease
- Closing Song: Return Again x3
- By Rabbi Schlomo Carlebach, BMI firstname.lastname@example.org
Questions for the reader
- Have you experienced the death of a loved one? If so, what do you recall from the experience?
- How did you mark the transition/sacredness?
- What are your beliefs and expectations around death and dying?
- How do you stay connected to your deceased loved ones?
Written by Genis Schmidt, with questions by the editor; copyright protected. Photo from Pexels. For questions or collaboration, email email@example.com