Written 11-10-18: Over the last several weeks I have gone through a major transition in my relationship with my grandma.  3 weeks ago I planned a ceremony with my mom and my grandma.  As I started to sing “Ave Maria”  my grandma said “Stop”.  Then I felt we could have continued but my mother made me stop.  Later in our visit I tried to sing some of the songs in my head to my grandma but I did not feel prepared.

 

The next week I prepared a Healing Ceremony (see below) and practiced it at home.  Then I visited my grandma and held her hand.  I sang the songs in my head to her.  By the second Healing Song (I am Healed, Whole and Healthy) I felt I was taken to a near death awareness with her.  In this awareness I was singing and dancing with her.  She was so excited to be talking with someone.  She was happy and sad.  I held her in the awareness and felt strong yet I was balling on the outside.  I felt truly healed through this experience.  At one point towards the end of the ceremony my grandma said to me out loud “You’re crazy.”  I responded, “If I’m crazy so are you because we just experienced that together.”

 

About a week later my dad called me to tell me grandma was very sick.  Her heart rate was up and she was having a hard time breathing.  I went to visit her and was able to hold her hand again and feel the near death awareness.  I reminded her to return again (see below).

 

When she died I felt more upset about losing this near death awareness with her.  I felt when she transitioned she was no longer my grandma.  She was one with the cosmos and no longer separate so I could no longer talk to her like in the near death awareness.  She is still in my heart but the communication is different.

 

I still don’t know how I feel.  I cried so much before she died yet I have had a hard time crying since she died.  I know she is in a different place but I don’t believe it is better, just different.

 

Written 6-10-20: This experience changed my life.  I realized how easy it is to communicate with those who have passed if we only listen and trust our intuition.  Below are two ceremonies I put together for my grandma.  The one mentioned above is the Healing Ceremony.  I never sang the songs to her for her Transition Ceremony but I hope to one day sing these songs at my mother’s or in celebration of someone else’s transition.

 

Grandma’s Healing Ceremony

• Opening Song: Ave Maria
  • 1. Ave Maria 2. Ave, Ave Repeat 1-2.
  • 3. Ave Maria  4. Gratia plena Repeat 3-4.
• Opening Prayer: Hail Mary
• Inviting the Directions
• Statement of Intent: Astrology of the Day–Full Moon
• Healing Work
  • Healing Song x3

• • • By Kenna del Sol
  • I Am Healed, Whole And Healthy x3
    • By Karen Drucker ©Tay Toones Music BMI
  • See You Beautiful x2
    • By Red and Kathy Grammar; Red Note Records
• Closing Song: By Breath
  • By Sara Thomsen, adapted by Sally Strosahl

 

Grandma’s Transition Ceremony

• Opening Song: You Are My Sister x3
  • By Sufi Dances for International Peace
• Belly Button Song x9
  • By Connie Kaldor and Tom Pease 
• Closing Song: Return Again x3
  • By  Rabbi Schlomo Carlebach, BMI soul@neshamacarlebach.com

 

 

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Questions for the reader

• Have you experienced the death of a loved one? If so, what do you recall from the experience?
  • How did you mark the transition/sacredness?
• What are your beliefs and expectations around death and dying?
• How do you stay connected to your deceased loved ones?

 

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Written by Genis Schmidt, with questions by the editor; copyright protected.  Photo from Pexels. For questions or collaboration, email getwokecoven@gmail.com